Menstruation VS Motivation

I love exercise.

Absolutely LOVE it. 

I love the vibration of my watch on my wrist letting me know that my heartbeat has gone above 168bpm when I'm running on the threadmill.

I love the ache in my quads and my biceps after lifting.

I love the intensity of a sparring session, and feeling like I'm at my absolute limit.

My poor boyfriend has vowed to never again fall for the excited "feel my hair!" request, only to have the horrifying realisation that the reason it's soaked is because of sweat.

But for one week a month, this love of exercise, love of life, love of hitting a protein intake goal dies a sudden death. And all I can do is eat within my calorie budget. Maybe.

One week a month I will have a day where I skip my evening meal and have chocolate for dinner. 

What the hell is going on?

At my 6 month check-in with my GP after being prescribed Lexapro a couple of months ago, we spoke about how I'm mostly doing well. We celebrated my weightloss, and overall it was a lovely, exciting conversation. I hope everyone who is stuggling with a dismissive, unsupportive doctor finds one as lovely as mine. 

I mentioned that once a month, things get really bad really quickly. I don't care about the temporary blip on the scales, but I do care about the low mood. The week of heavy bleeding, followed by the 7 - 10 days of light bleeding. Yep. 14 - 17 day periods. That's new.

I asked her if this could be related to the weight loss? I've lost over 12% of my body weight, and I've read about the impact weightloss can have on the hormones that impact your period (though they are meant to make them easier). She doesn't seem convinced.

We upped my anti-depressant dosage and now, for the first 5 days of my period I take an NSAID that's been really helpful. I messed up and didn't collect my subscription on time this month and the difference was definitely noticible. I was in more pain physically, all emotional regulation went out the window, and the heaviness of the first week returned so I've definitely learned my lesson!

I'm scheduled for an ultra-sound to see if I have a fibroid, and if I don't, I'll be trying the pill again once my BMI is below 35. Right now my non-bloated BMI is 35.3. I'm getting closer and I'm excited to enter a lower level of obesity.

So I've been quieter on the blog and on instagram recently, but I'm excited to be back 💛